When you get to an age and after being married a few years, everyone starts to ask and wonder if you’re planning to have kids. We honestly didn’t have a firm answer to the question. We were both unsure if we really wanted to give up our current lifestyle (sleep and freedom) for kids. We were never people who knew with 100% certainty that we wanted to be parents. We were always “on the fence” about the idea. 

Planning & trying

As our relationship matured and I got older, I was more open to the idea of having children —not fully convinced but not opposed to it either. Eventually, we decided to try and see where that takes us naturally. For a period, it didn’t happen and we learned that our chances to have kids were low even with fertility assistance (IUI/IVF). We weren’t devastated but opened to giving it our fullest effort, so it would provide us closure that we tried our best but children weren’t in our cards. We proceeded with our options.

Finding out & telling Chi

After our first IUI procedure, I was told to take a test two weeks later. The pee stick had only one line once it got wet —“No surprise, not pregnant.” But the test says to wait 10 minutes and within that waiting period, the second line faintly appeared as positive. I was shocked! I took another test an hour later to confirm… positive. I waited until the next morning for more accurate results… also positive. Somehow despite all odds, our first procedure was a success on June 16, 2022! 

We were actually flying to Cabos, Mexico that evening so I withheld the results planning to tell Chi in Mexico. Unfortunately, he got food poisoning and I had to delay telling him until he somewhat felt better on our 3rd evening. Before dinner, we sat at a quiet and private patio table watching the sunset against the Cabos rock formations. I started to talk about what life would be like with a child… and eventually, he asked… “What? Are you pregnant or something?” I nodded and said “Yeah…” He couldn’t believe it either given it was our first attempt but he held my hand and high-fived me. Los Cabos was our first babymoon! 

First Trimester

No one warned me about how exhausted you feel during the first 3 months of your pregnancy. I’ve heard about nausea and morning sickness —and thank goodness I didn’t have this symptom but the fatigue was unreal. It felt like I was battling a fever or cold without any nasal symptoms. It was hard to focus and a 2pm fatigue wall hit me where I just wanted to lie down, take a nap and do nothing. 

We had our first ultrasound at 8 weeks. The baby was a healthy blobby shrimp and it was surreal to see it inside of me. Our 10-week ultrasound was cuter, the baby looked like a gummy bear dancing with little stubby arms and legs. And our 12-week looked more human-like.

I spent weeks 11-12 in Toronto but only told our parents, siblings, and our best friends, Linda and Mike. It was earlier than I liked (would have preferred after weeks 13-14 and passing all the healthy tests) but it was the only in-person opportunity. We agreed to keep it quiet from other friends and relatives, just in case. 

During the first trimester, there is always a constant worry that a miscarriage could occur. But I guess that is my mom life now… constant worry during pregnancy, then when my baby is born, growing up, and all the way until they are an adult. 

Second Trimester

Whoa! Once I hit weeks 14-15, I suddenly felt way more energy like back to my non-pregnant days. It was perfect timing for trips to Banff in weeks 14-15, Europe in weeks 16-19, and Hawaii in week 25.

We completed also all our screening tests to find out our baby was healthy and progressing well. We also learned the gender! I didn’t want to find out from a message or a phone call. Instead, I wanted it to be a small moment shared with Chi —and frankly an excuse to eat cake! So I found a local bakery that would make a small gender reveal cake and we’d find out if our baby was a girl or boy. 

My belly was slowly growing and I started to wear maternity clothing. We also started to plan and shop for our nursery. I was collecting free items and hunting for lightly used second-hand gear. It was becoming more and more real. 

Banff and Northern Europe were perfect escapes to take my mind off the pregnancy and focus on things that bring me joy —beautiful landscapes, delicious food, and new adventures.

At week 20, we had our final full anatomy ultrasound. Our baby was in the fetal position so we had to return later for another peek. The results returned normal and so we finally started to announce my pregnancy to our friends and family. I also had to style a little announcement post that was on brand for our relationship.

To end off the second trimester, we had a final babymoon to Oahu, Hawaii. I wanted to capture this moment where it’s just Chi and I traveling and I have a freaking baby growing inside of me. So I found a photographer to do a couples/maternity photoshoot session.

The second trimester is definitely better than the first. But I heard the third trimester is going to be like the first, tiring, sore and I’ll be bigger than ever…