It’s been the toughest and most exhausting year of my life but I’ve never had so much daily cuteness and cuddles. It’s a year that has gone by quickly when I look back but also felt slow in the present. It was all about survival as a new mom and a lesson in being selfless. 

It’s been incredible to see Max demonstrate new skills and grow this past year. Sometimes we can see him gradually working on a new skill like grabbing toys or sitting but sometimes new skills come out of the blue like one morning he rolled back to his tummy, one afternoon he sat up by himself, or one night, he made it through the night without a feed (spoiler: it came back). 

What an unforgettable year —2023, the year of parenthood.

2023 Goals

[X] Survive Childbirth & Newborn Baby Stages
[X] Travel to Toronto & hopefully somewhere else (i.e Adjust to travel with a baby)
[-] Adjust to return to work after maternity leave — Just started…
[-] Stay active as much as possible (Walks & workout 2+ times a week) — Did the walks but did not workout at all
[ ] Finish estate & guardianship planning — It’s still ongoing…
[X] Tackle 1-2 projects for our Airbnb rentals — Yes! We did a few projects this year.
[-] Make time for my parents and help their goals — Visited DR together
[ ] Update this blog theme — I was planning this at the start of my leave… but then our baby came 3 weeks early

2023 Memories 

Labor & Birth

Looking back, it was a pretty quick event in the grand scheme of motherhood. It was nerve-wracking but something my body was built for. I’m thankful that it happened quickly and mostly smoothly. I’ll always cherish the moment when I first held Max. The emotions were intense and it was precious to hold him. 

Months 0-3 (Feb to April)

The first three months were the hardest but are now a blur due to the sleep deprivation. Like a hard workout, you recall it was tough but you don’t remember how it actually felt. 

We were running on minimal sleep while learning new skills on how to take care of this little human. You’re tracking his activity, building your milk supply, researching everything, and adjusting to this new norm of being new parents. It was overwhelming and intense. 

At this stage, Max is a cute potato trying to adjust to this world. He just eats, sleeps, poops, and repeats this every 2-3 hours. 

Months 3-6 (May to Aug)

While I don’t miss the tough adjustment in the first three months, I do miss the newborn cuddles, silly reflex faces, and even the sweet contact naps in my arms.

People told me it gets easy and around four to five months, it started to. We were adapting and getting the hang of things. Feeding was easier and I didn’t have to pump so often. Naps became predictable, and Max started to sleep independently and uninterrupted through the night. That was seriously game-changing and meant Chi and I would sleep longer stretches!

It also finally felt more rewarding to be a mom. He showers me with gummy big smiles as if he wants to scream with excitement to see me. His first giggles and laughter are heart-melting and make all the hard work worthwhile. He is even more adorable than the first three months and his personality is starting to show.

Every night I’ll look at photos of him and look forward to seeing him in the morning. I can’t wait to hug him and play with him. 

Also these past 6 months, I’m so thankful to have my mom’s and mother-in-law’s help. I can’t imagine how much harder and lonelier it would be without them. With their help, Chi and I were both able to have some personal time back (even just to go to the bathroom without Max!). I truly don’t think I would have been able to pump or get as much rest as I did without them. Max and I are so blessed to have had their support and love. 

Months 6-8 (Aug to Oct)

I was told that around 6 months is the golden baby age, and I’d somewhat agree. A nap schedule emerged with longer and more predictable naps. Max was cuter than ever with his personality shining through and he isn’t fussy or tough to figure out.

When my mother-in-law left at the end of Aug, I was sad to see her leave Max just like when my Mom left. It breaks my heart to know that they won’t be able to frequently visit Max. I was a bit intimidated and a tad nervous for the days to come being on my own, while Chi was at work. I know I’ll be able to handle Max but I no longer have someone to lean on. I am officially a 100% full-time mom that Max fully depends on. Luckily, Max’s sleep improved and I only pump 3 times a day. After a week or two of adjustment, I felt comfortable and I cherished my 1-on-1 time with him while managing our household meals.

It was at this time that we gradually started to travel with Max and it was quite the change from our usual trips. We were on Max’s schedule and had to be very flexible. 

September – Mount Rainier 

Our first overnight stay outside of our home was at our cabin near Mount Rainier. It was the perfect first stay away from home. It was also so special because Max got to meet my sister and her boyfriend for the first time. It was heartwarming to see my sister spend time with Max. 

October – Las Vegas

Our first flight and week-long trip was Las Vegas, a city I was very familiar with and visited many times. It was a perfect starter trip with Max since it was a short flight, no time zone adjustments, short drives and we wouldn’t feel FOMO because we had done the typical Vegas scene before. This time, we went mainly to soak up sun, enjoy some buffets and hang out by a fun pool at Tahiti Village Resort. 

We learned a lot about how to travel with a baby and graduated to the next longer and further trip… 

Months 9-10 (Nov to Dec)

My stay-at-home-mom time was nearing an end. Chi started his paternity leave in November but we decided to overlap our time off to visit Toronto for 2 weeks and enjoy Dominican Republic for a week.

November – Toronto
It was one of the most memorable and special trips back to Toronto. It was so sweet to see Max meet and bond with our friends and family. Like the time, when my dad rushed out in the cold to peek at Max in the car, Ethan meeting Max for the first time and how nurturing Madi was towards Max. 

November – Punta Cana, Dominican Republic 

It was a different paced all-inclusive trip with no excursions or adventures. We relaxed and followed Max’s nap schedule. Splurging on a swim-up master suite at Paradisus Palma Real was the best decision since it made pool days easier and Max could nap indoors in his crib. My parents also came with us which was a helping hand with Max. It was relaxing, but we are already ready for another beach vacation.

I went back to work at the end of November. I was sad to know I won’t be spending all day with Max. But luckily Chi will take care of Max for the rest of the year and work will be slower due to the holidays. It was the perfect time to transition back. 

In December, we visited our cabin for a week and then spent the holidays at home. It was Max’s first Christmas and New Years. We also got the best Christmas gift from Max, perfect nights with uninterrupted sleep. It was so appreciated because the past 2 months with travel, illnesses, regressions and growth spurts have been rough for us. 

2024 Goals

[ ] Cherish my time with Max & focus on being a good and present mom
[ ] Stay active as much as possible
[ ] Finish estate & guardianship planning
[ ] Make time for my parents and help their goals

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2023 will always be unforgettable because it’s the year Max came into our lives. Motherhood really is something different —it is very tiring and hard work, but there is something magical and fulfilling about it. The way he looks at me and smiles when I say good morning or sing him his bedtime lullaby melts my heart. Just thinking about it puts happy tears in my eyes. 

I love him so much. The love I have for him and the way he makes me feel is hard to describe. It’s warm, fuzzy and brings me joy in such a different unique way. I’m so thankful to be able to experience this and to share it with Chi.  

I’m excited to see his first steps, hear his first words, and share new experiences with him in 2024.